"Self-Conscious Sex Is Bad for You"

It seems that women with hypoactive sexual desire - which is a disorder characterized by a continual lack of sexual interest or fantasies - use more brainpower than sexually healthy women in monitoring their reactions and performance during sex.

Don't Think about What You're Doing...Just Do It

It's a vicious circle: Women who pay too much attention to their performance during sex could be inhibiting sexual desire — and that lack of desire increases self-consciousness.

The idea's not new, of course, but now it's got scientific data to back it up. A new study by the Stanford University School of Medicine suggests that women with hypoactive sexual desire [HSDD] - which is a disorder characterized by a continual lack of sexual interest or fantasies - use more brainpower than sexually healthy women in monitoring their reactions and performance during sex.

Researchers used functional magnetic resonance imaging to track brain response to sexual stimuli in 16 HSDD women and 20 women who don't suffer the condition.

Participants were shown clips of erotic films, women's sporting events, and relaxing nature scenes. In addition to the brain scans, the women subjectively rated their levels of arousal while an instrument objectively measured vaginal response.

Their brains lit up in very different ways.

"Many of the HSDD subjects spent their time monitoring their experience, or lack thereof," said Leah Millheiser, one of the lead researchers of the study, which was published in the journal Neuroscience.

"For example, they may have been asking themselves, 'Am I responding correctly?', 'Is this how I am supposed to be feeling?', 'Should I be experiencing more arousal than I currently am?', instead of actually allowing themselves to integrate the information being presented to them in the erotic video."

These women, Millheiser says, may be cheating themselves out of the ability to associate positive emotional memories with sex.

In addition, the results pointed to a disconnect between both groups' subjective ratings and the arousal measurements taken by the vaginal instrument — results that are consistent with those found in other studies.

"Women can experience little subjective arousal, but still have a genital response, meaning vaginal engorgement and lubrication," Millheiser said.

"The reason behind this phenomenon is not well understood. There is a popular theory that women could have developed this response during the evolutionary process to protect the pelvic floor during forced sexual acts for procreation or childbirth."

The study suggests a useful strategy:

"As a female sexual medicine practitioner, I encourage women to 'be in the moment,'" Millheiser said. "That means to focus on the pleasure they are experiencing either by themselves or with their partner.

What I discourage is for women to focus on what they 'think' they should be experiencing. If certain expectations are not met during a sexual situation, this may lead to a negative sexual experience."

"Circumcision Lessens Sexual Pleasure For Men"

In the ninth episode of the second season of "Sex and the City," one young male professional has had enough of being judged - and in some cases, rejected - by women because of his uncircumcised penis, and chooses to undergo circumcision as an adult.

The Foreskin Is a Vital Element in Sexual Intercourse

The foreskin consists of several parts, and performs several key functions in sexual activity and in the penis itself.

The foreskin can be thought of as akin to the eyelids, according to a presentation done by The University of Washington Health Sciences Academic Services & Facilities and George C. Denniston, MD.

The eyes need constant moisture to optimize their function, as well as a covering membrane capable of shielding them from pathogens and unwanted external irritants. The same holds true for the glans of the penis.

As erection occurs, the prepuce turns inside out, unfolding onto the shaft of the penis. During sexual intercourse, the foreskin will continuously retract and then recover over the glans, sliding along the sides of the vaginal wall in the process.

This causes increased stimulation to both male and female, as the penis is essentially sliding in and out of both itself and the vagina, using the prepuce as a sort of “buffer” between the two.

The foreskin, therefore, plays a very important role during sex, keeping both organs moist. Without it, the mushroom shaped glans actually draws moisture from the vagina with each forward and backward motion, increasing abrasion.

To Cut, or Not to Cut? A Touchy Subject

The importance of this question arises for different people in a variety of situations.

Women might have inherited certain beliefs about what men 'ought' to look like, and those beliefs stand to influence their feelings about future possible male sex partners. Men who are uncircumcised have to grapple with being members of an aesthetic minority.

In the ninth episode of the second season of "Sex and the City," one young male professional has had enough of being judged - and in some cases, rejected - by women because of his uncircumcised penis. He chooses to undergo circumcision as an adult, not out of religious considerations at all, but so that he can be more confident during his future sexual encounters.

Sure, many uncircumcised men might experience neither rejection nor 'judgment' from their significant others; but when our culture projects a certain image of physical normalcy that is significantly distinguished from the images we have of ourselves, conflict is likely to ensue.

At www.circumcision.org, it is stated that, "Circumcision is 'normal' among Americans. Normality is associated with cultural values. What is familiar becomes a cultural value. Circumcision is familiar."

It is noted that that our language reinforces what we believe is 'normal'. "For example, the term 'uncircumcised' suggests that to be circumcised is the norm, the standard."

Both men and women who are thinking about starting a family are vulnerable to the need to scrutinize the question of whether or not they genuinely 'agree' with circumcision; and certainly once one is told that "It's a boy" the debate of male circumcision will present itself sooner or later.

So, why are male babies circumcised? There are many reasons for the procedure, some of which are religious, while others are health-related.

None of the reasons for circumcising male babies is based on facts alone; rather, arguments are primarily supported by beliefs and theories about spirituality and/or health. Let's consider some of the most prominent arguments regarding male circumcision:

Pro: Circumcised penises are easier to clean/less likely to become infected/safer from disease. Many elements of this claim seem to be true, but to a nearly insignificant extent. At Kids Health, it is noted that, yes, baby boys who are uncircumcised are ten times more likely to develop urinary tract infections (during the first year of life).

The article goes on to claim that, "However, even with this increased risk of UTI, only one percent or less of uncircumcised males will be affected."

Irritation, inflammation (Balantis), and infection do occur more frequently among uncircumcised men; furthermore, it is easier to clean a circumcised penis (although after the foreskin becomes retractable - around age 5 - any incontestable impediments to self-cleaning are generally alleviated).

Finally, some claim that circumcised males are safer from developing penile cancer, but the margin of difference is extremely slim - and statistically 'insignificant' - because penile cancer itself is extremely rare, in both circumcised and uncircumcised males.

Con: The trauma of undergoing circumcision undermines the long-term emotional and psychological health of males.

There has been lots of research that supports the claim that the physical trauma of circumcision leaves a negative impact on psychological health.

Dr. Ronald Goldman - Executive Director of the Circumcision Resource Center in Boston, MA - has written a book entitled "Circumcision: The Hidden Trauma," in which he shows that, "circumcision has potential effects not only on men and sexuality, but also on mother-child relationships, male-female relationships and societal traits and problems."

Pro: Circumcised men are less likely to develop STDs.

"Some sexually transmitted diseases appear more common in uncircumcised men, others in circumcised men," said Dr. Goldman.

While circumcised men might be more vulnerable to certain STDs - Chlamydia and genital warts in particular - they might have some protection from the most fatal of them all: the human immunodeficiency virus.

Many doctors and researchers have produced evidence that suggests that circumcised men are less likely to contract HIV than men who are uncircumcised.

However, the Cochrane Collaboration has reviewed all the current evidence regarding circumcision and the contraction of HIV and has, "concluded that that there is insufficient evidence to support the idea that circumcised men have less chance of contracting HIV."

Con: Having foreskin allows men to more fully enjoy sex. On the Malehealth website, it is stated that:

"As the only moving part of the penis, the foreskin facilitates sexual activity. It contains nerve endings that play a part in sexual pleasure and its glands produce lubricants that help protect both the head of the penis and [in the case of heterosexual intercourse] the female vagina."

This claim - that the foreskin 'plays a part in sexual pleasure' - is debatable. On the KidsHealth website, the authors write that:

"Some people claim that circumcision either lessens or heightens the sensitivity of the tip of the penis, decreasing or increasing sexual pleasure later in life. But neither of these subjective findings has been proved."

There are many more reasons for and against circumcision - and we haven't even touched upon those that are most controversial - the religious arguments.

But whether or not we come to a conclusion about what is 'right' or 'wrong' in this matter, it is important to challenge the notions we've inherited regarding what's 'normal,' especially when it comes to sexuality.

"How About Sex? Who's Responsible For Contraception? "

There's the situation where he doesn't have a condom and she isn't taking an oral contraceptive, leaving them with the choice of either not having sex at all, or having unprotected sex. Both options are bad, and usually couples will have sex anyway.

Who's Responsible for Contraception - the Man or the Woman?

Having sex for the first time with a new partner is always an exercise in silent negotiation.

Issues such as who will take the dominant role or when the undressing will begin abound and are often worked out using body language, eye contact, and other non-verbal communication cues.

Although these stealthy tools are enough to successfully answer most of the questions that arise during those initial moments of sexual bliss, the issue of contraception is not and should not be one of them.

Don´t Rely on Your Partner to "Take Care Of" Contraception

Unfortunately many women still rely on the man to bring a condom, and many men still rely on the woman to be "on the pill."

Obviously this can lead to a very unfortunate situation in which he doesn't have a condom and she isn't taking an oral contraceptive, leaving them with the choice of either not having sex at all, or having unprotected sex.

Both of these options are bad, and more often than not couples will choose to have sex anyway.

This decision not only increases their chances of an unwanted pregnancy, but also of acquiring an unwanted sexually transmitted infection such as HIV or herpes.

Remember condoms should not only be used to prevent pregnancy but to prevent the spread of STD´s as well!

The easiest way to avoid having to make such a hormonally charged decision is for both partners to take equal responsibility for having a condom on their person - be it in a pocket, a purse, a sock, where ever.

Even though it´s the man who wears it, the woman gets just as many benefits from its use, and she should feel comfortable taking the initiative to safeguard her own health and well being.

In fact some condom companies are marketing male condoms directly to women by using sexy packaging and imagery in order to promote this healthy habit.

Oral contraceptives do not prevent the spread of sexually transmitted infections and should not be the only form of protection used between new lovers.

It´s also important to remember that many women rightfully refuse to use oral contraceptives because of the negative side effects they experience while taking them or because of other health concerns.

For example women with a familial history of strokes are advised not to use oral contraceptives.

An even greater number of women discontinue using "the pill" during periods of prolonged abstinence - such as between relationships.

So even if she has used oral contraceptives with her past lovers, there´s a good chance that she is not currently using them if this is your first time having sex with each other!

Never assume a woman is using an oral contraceptive. If you are unsure, ask her.

If you are both ready to have sex, then you should be able to have an honest conversation about contraception.

She Not the Only One Deciding If Contraception Should Be Used

Another very common, and I think disturbing, trend is many men will leave it completely up to the woman to "stop" the progression of sexual activity in order to demand the use of a condom, instead of simply putting the condom on himself without needing to be told to do so by his partner.

This behavior unfairly shifts the responsibility of condom use fully onto the woman, and implies that without her demand, he would happily have sex without using a condom at all.

Why are women stereotypically placed in the sexually "responsible" role? Aren't men just as concerned about their own health as women?

Then shouldn't men be equally as likely to "stop" the sexual activity in order to use protection?

The usual justification for this scenario is that men get "carried away" in the heat of the moment and "forget" about the consequences of their sexual behaviors, whereas women do not get swept away by their sexual passions and are therefore the ones who must be "responsible" for them both.

This argument is based upon too many incorrect culturally-bound assumptions regarding female sexuality to explore in this article.

Suffice to say that women are equally as "impassioned" as men, and should not be the only ones who decide whether or not contraception will be used.

The "heat of the moment" is not an excuse for irresponsible sexual behavior for either women or men.

" 10 Fun Sex Facts"

A recent visit to Manhattan's legendary Museum of Sex yielded more than a mob of 18 year-old girls giggling in the foyer -- it provided an entertaining and education look into the history of sex.

Here are some little-known sex facts that may surprise you – or at least give you ammunition for a fascinating dinner conversation!

1. The best medicine...

According to the Museum of Sex, the vibrator was originally used as a medicinal treatment for female "hysteria" during the 19th century. The vibrator-induced orgasms helped doctors dissipate hysteria's anxiety-related symptoms.

2. Say cheese!

Semen contains zinc and calcium, both of which are proven to prevent tooth decay.

3. Hop to it.

The iconic "Rabbit" is renowned for two things: excellent results and an odd smiley face on its tip. Women's Health tells us the smiley face was actually a result of conservative Japanese customs. Apparently, Japanese consumers frown upon "the production of sex toys that too closely resemble phalluses," so the smiley face was added.

4. Does he measure up?

The average size of an erect penis is 5 inches, and the average flaccid penis measures about 3 inches.

5. The sad truth.

While this fact is neither entertaining nor humorous, it’s shocking to note that homosexuality remained on the American Psychiatric Association's list of mental illnesses until 1973.

6. Protect our troops.

Today the government issues "Support our Troops" paraphernalia; however government-issued brochures and videos featured a slightly different slogan during the WWII era – "Don't forget – Put it on before you put it in." During the Second World War, many soldiers returned home with venereal diseases, costing the government millions of dollars in medical expenses.

7. Work it.

Hate the gym? You burn about 200 calories during 30 minutes of active sex.

8. What a tease!

Burlesque costumes are the epitome of sexy – think Dita Von Teese and lingerie; however, a few centuries ago, the outfits had a slightly different purpose. According to the Museum of Sex, merkins (the bottom half of burlesque costumes) were originally created as "pubic wigs" for 15th century prostitutes. The designs helped hide pubic lice and syphilis symptoms. Make sure to share this information with your boyfriend the next time he heads to Vegas with the boys.

9. Justice is served.

In Hong Kong, adulterous husbands get more than a steep monthly alimony payment – a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her husband if he cheats on her – but she may only do so with her bare hands.

10. Whatever happened to Southern comfort?

The sale of sex toys and vibrators is banned in Alabama and Mississippi.

"Side By Side Sex Positions"

Side by side sex with the partners facing each other is probably the most common sex position apart from man on top, woman on top and rear entry.

The easiest way to get it to the sex position shown in the first photograph above is to start in the man on top missionary position and then roll over onto your sides, with the woman's legs high up as shown. It's easy to do this with your penis still in her vagina, so the flow of your lovemaking need not be interrupted. But why would you want to go over onto your sides in this way? well, for one thing, snuggling, kissing, cuddling and saying loving things to each other is both intimate and sexy, and this is an ideal position in which to do it, since there is no stress or strain on your muscles as you lie there. After you have made love in this position, which, by the way, tends to produce strong orgasms because of the long build up before you come, you can doze off with your penis still in her vagina - very sexy and a beautiful way to end your lovemaking.

You can also go into her from the rear when you are making love in the side by side position. This is easier if you have a longer penis, and somewhat more difficult if you are on the shorter side. You can enjoy many of the benefits of rear entry sex positions with less strain and, perhaps, less intense arousal - it's a sexual position that fits when the sexual passion is not running so high! Once again, you have the ability to fondle and caress each other's bodies, and the man can kiss his partner's back, which may be extremely sexy for the woman. Thrusting is a bit more restricted than it is in the rear entry position, but this will slow sex down and make it last longer as well.

Both partners are likely to find cuddling from behind very sexy - the close proximity of his genitals to her vulva and her buttocks to his penis will most likely turn on both partners if they lie together like this for any length of time.

If you want to introduce a bit of spice into the side by side routine, you can try a few sexual positions like the ones shown above. They'll have the effect of changing the tightness of her vagina and producing some interesting sensations for both of you.

The basic side by side sex positions are restful, romantic, and sensuous, it's true, but they have many other advantages as well. For a start, they allow a man to maintain his erection and last a long time. This is partly because he can't thrust as much in this position (which always tends to make a man come quickly), and partly because his partner's vagina wraps tightly around his penis, so keeping him erect. Small movements of either partner's body during sex serve to keep their sexual arousal high but aren't so stimulating that either his arousal or hers spirals rapidly out of control - this way, a man won't have any fear of coming quickly.

Then, if either partner leans back, that is to say, if they move their upper bodies away from each other (as they are lying on their sides), they can get a good look at each other, play with each other's breasts and nipples, fondle each other's buttocks, and, best of all, look down and see the sheer sexiness of his penis entering her body.

Either partner can give her clitoris the attention it deserves, arousing her slowly - or quickly, depending on how turned on she is - so that simultaneous orgasm while he has his penis inside her vagina becomes a real possibility.

With a bit of a stretch, she can reach around and feel his penis and balls; he can do the same, enjoying the wetness of her vulva and the feel of his penis sliding in and out of her body.

If a couple lean in towards each other, they can kiss, embrace and snuggle up to each other, which can produce a strong sense of intimacy and connectedness. Side by side is a loving, gentle position, in which either partner can make the hip thrusts that keep the physical sensation alive as the emotional connectedness increases.

There aren't many disadvantages to sex in the side by side position. Depending on what you think of as a disadvantage, some aspects of this kind of sex may not appeal to you, but this is a matter of personal taste rather than anything else. For example, rampant hard thrusting is not possible, as the positions are geared to more gentle lovemaking. But you can achieve deep penetration, good ejaculatory control, close touch and intimacy, and long-lasting lovemaking very satisfactorily. One great advantage is that if you're not very supple, it may be a lot easier to enjoy the side by side sex position than the man on top or woman on top positions. Side by side sex puts less strain on the lovers and require slightly a lot less physical effort than, say, straightforward man on top or woman on top positions do.

And, by the way, if you're pregnant or fat, side by side sex is a great position for a woman with a large belly!